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Milk Dick|||Spookytown, USA

“I prefer un-pasteurized milk,” says the quaint man with his nose high into the air to no one but himself.  After setting the carton of local 2% down on his tray, he continues down the buffet line scoffing at the “paltry” fruit selection and the “suspect” appearance of the various meats and sauces simmering in the pans below the sneezeguard.  In hearing the man’s supercilious monologue, the buffet manager looks toward the clock for salvation.  The clock reads “11:11.”  

“It’s too early to start making wishes,” the manager mutters to himself.  ”But, it ain’t too early to start making plans for five o’clock,” he continues while fondling the substance enclosed by cellophane in his right pocket.

The Milk Dick eventually settles down at the furthest table from the buffet.  He hoists his face over his plates full of starch, starch, starch, and protein, opens his carton of milk and shoves a full biscuit into his mouth.  The 2% is gone before he even begins work on his country fried steak.  

Meanwhile, three feet away, through the glass of the wall-size window, the manager lifts a filtered cigarette to his mouth to light the fifth cigarette of the day.   

Milk Dick’s first offering, Happy Valentines Day, is now streaming at BC.  Don’t miss Milk Dick at Big Snow Buffalo Lodge on March 3 with White Laces, ABADABAD, and Flights.  That’s Numberwang.